oomshi:

i’m going to glue 1,000 cotton balls onto my body so i can finally become a cloud

(via asvprock)

"I want to marry you because you’re the first person that I want to look at when I wake up in the morning & the only one I want to kiss good night because the first time that I saw these hands, I couldn’t imagine not being able to hold them or someone else holding onto them."
Daily Tumblr Love Quotes (via thelovewhisperer)

(via pbbunny97)

cheyennekaris:

very 👑💅
sleepybrowneyes:

seifukucat:

googled “dog swearing” and wasn’t disappointed

His fucking look of determination. Like, “you’re going to fucking jail Greg.”

christmasbarakat:

my dad is a cop and i just called him and he was like “hey i have a 17 year old boy in the back of my cop car right now that i’m running him to the station” and i asked if he was cute and my dad said “Hey, my daughter wants to know if you’re cute” and the guy said “i want to say yes, sir” and my dad started laughing so hard

(Source: ahcalamity, via trust)

teamrocketing:

mom: so how do you know this person?

me: *struggles to come up with plausible fake story instead of saying “on the internet”*

(via deddene)

okaymofo:

you is kind
you is smart
you is an official Barbie baby-sitter

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

did you hear about the italian chef who died?

he pasta way

he just ran out of thyme

here today, gone tomato

his wife is still upset, cheese still not over it

we never sausage a tragedy coming

ashes to ashes, crust to crust

there’s just not mushroom for italian chefs in today’s world

(Source: sofunnyimcryan, via greetings)

sugarrette:

fun prank: put $1000 in an envelope and mail it to me

(via fake-mermaid)

girlsmotivation:

https://www.facebook.com/FitnessForGirls
micromanaging:

lesbiancactus:

I really really needed to see thhs

treat yourself and look at this please

shutupaubrey:

do you ever see a picture of someone with a body like yours and you’re momentarily comforted like they look pretty good…i probably look good too

(via cumfort)

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